1994 was a tough year for my mom’s side of the family – my granny died, both my great grandparents died, and my grandfather’s bakery had a fire, after which he had a stroke which paralyzed the entire right side of his body. I was nine years old and my family emotionally protected me from their sadness and stress. However, I was still aware of what was going on around me. I learned some big life lessons that year. My granny’s death taught me about real faith, my great grandparents’ deaths taught me about real love, and my gramp’s stroke taught me about real family.

My cousin was also born that year. In the midst of cancer, funerals, and strokes – there was a baby… and babies and life just make everything okay.

God’s timing is perfect.

I was old enough to give her a bottle, change diapers, and entertain her. By the time she was two, my aunt trusted me enough to watch her by myself for a couple of hours after school. I spent enough time with her that my uncle asked me to try and not talk like a teenager around her because she was using the words “like”, “cool”, and “totally” all the time. We watched a ton of Barney and I hid Easter eggs year round. I didn’t dilute her juice and I’m completely horrified about all the sugar I gave her. We read stories, cuddled on the couch, and I painted her nails (she would sit for 30 minutes so she didn’t ruin them… and then we would need to do the toes).

And now she is basically a grown up.

Abby, I hope you take my perspective into consideration. I know you don’t think your parents have any insight on life- and you won’t until you have kids of your own, but I’m your cousin and we discussed what that relationship means. There are times to be 17, but there are now times when you need to be an adult. I’ve made you a handy list so you know.

not doing a homework assignment that doesn’t hurt your grade – time to be 17
doing a homework assignment that helps your chance at distinguished honors – time to be an adult
not knowing what you want to major in – time to be 17
applying to multiple colleges on time – time to be an adult
your alarm going off in the morning – time to be 17
filling out scholarship applications – time to be an adult

You have been raised by an entire family. You won’t realize how uncommon this is until you are living in a dorm and learning about other people and you won’t truly understand the blessing until you are far away and miss everyone. Our family is crazy – like legit stereotypical folks from NEPA, but they are loving, kind, compassionate, faithful, loyal, super, awesome, and hardworking.

I LOVE your pictures. You are beautiful, smart, and funny. Realize that this is the moment in your life where you first get to make major decisions for yourself. Realize that what you choose to do and not do are going to define you as a person. Make plans, change plans, make mistakes, and learn. Understand that life is hard, but it is a choice to make it complicated.

<3

Family and friends should leave her some comments.